freakout, phase 1
It's just hit me that in, let's see, 27 days, I'll be flying to Chicago to begin orientation for my trip. Which means I will have to have finished making all my decisions about packing, purchasing wee gifties for unknown hosts and teachers, creating my Very Special Present for My Lovely Penfriends, paying bills ahead, leaving appropriate information with appropriate people in appropriate places, figuring out exactly who will be in my house when and making sure they have keys, etc. And somehow this all came out sideways at 11:45 this morning. I was unpacking my lunch at work, happy to be settling in for a few minutes of chatting with John, and realized I had forgotten a piece of leftover birthday cake - and I flipped out. I really wanted that piece of cake. It was really good - Suzanne made it for me, and it was lemon with strawberries and candied lemon peel on top, with cream cheese frosting - and I had been counting on it for emotional momentum for the rest of the day, even though it is just cake and shouldn't be accorded those kinds of powers. And when it wasn't there, I felt so sad and overwhelmed.
But somehow I collected myself and went back to my office and scheduled work on my house that has made itself known as not being able to be put off any longer, dealt with the credit card people to tell them to expect charges from India in July and switched types so I can get air miles with it (these staff were incredibly friendly and not pushy at all, I should add, thank you citi bank), cleared off a bunch of correspondence, and grabbed my bag to head out the door for some iced coffee. And even though it's really hot today, it's windy, and it felt good to be smacked in the face by nature instead of by my own stupid worries.
And as though she knew, a lovely birthday present from Tamara was waiting for me at home - a set of packing cubes for my suitcase! She is wise, our Tamara.